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Oct. 18th, 2012 09:29 pmLet me start by saying this. I understand that I have to learn to live with someone who may (and does) have different preferences. This applies BOTH ways. I’m not going to go into the details of how accommodating I’ve been or haven’t. But keep this in mind when I say this. I’m deaf. Deaf people are more sensitive to other things such as movement and light. We have a big spaced bathroom/room not just because it is wheelchair accessible but deaf people rely heavily on vision and touch to navigate a room at night. That being said let me move on to my main grievances.
I feel that my well being, safety, and personal space is being disrespected repeatedly. I also feel that the commitment to share space has been compromised. I feel this way for a handful of different reasons.
Let’s start with guests. I have since lost track of the number of times that I’ve waken up to a stranger in our room. I haven’t even been asked if they could stay here or not. It is just presumed o.k. since I am asleep. And it is NOT okay. I feel that this is disrespectful in a number of ways. First of all I thought I was fair to you by agreeing that we’d ie each other an hours notice for overnight guests since you expressed that you frequently wanted to have guests over. Fair enough, everyone has a right to have guests. But this constantly happens on SCHOOL NIGHTS. The opposite gendered guests staying without permission is also the other issue. I am actually UNCOMFORTABLE with opposite gendered guests staying the night. Especially if I don’t know them. I did not appreciate the joke of Billy getting into my bed while I was asleeping. I have expressed my dislike of that joke but let me say it again to emphasis why I dislike opposite gendered guests overnight.
Lights and TV. During Exams these have bothered me because of my light sensitivity. Honestly, it’s really bothersome even when I don’t have exams but I have already expressed my grievances to you. I actually have NOT been getting decent sleep because of the TV and sink light since we moved in.
Speaking of the TV, we agreed to share the TV. Lately I haven’t wanted to watch anything but when I have, the TV gets taken over or the remote is hidden from me. I understand that you bought the TV but I bought the coffeemaker and agreed to share it, which is accessible to you for your convenience.
Since were on the subject of personal belongings. It feels really hurtful when my stuff is called “stupid shit” and then this “stupid shit” gets asked to be borrowed. I feel that I am being disrespected when things are borrowed and treated in that regards.
But it’s not just that. I constantly feel like I’m being treated like I’m stupid or like a little kid and that I am being used in my kindness. I am constantly being talked down at, and my stuff that gets borrowed is never replenished when it’s been promised to replenish items. Particularly the fabric sheets as I need those to make my clothes functional due to static shock.
The issue of shared space being hogged is pressing. The fridge is completely full of water, Capri sun, gaterade, yogurt, milk, coffee creamers, and whatever edible items are in the freezer. All I ever have in the fridge at any given time is three drinks and three cups of fruit. The sink is also constantly hogged.
Clothes being thrown all around the room is the other issue. We agreed on one pile of clothes of messiness in terms of clothes. I understand that the need to change clothes is frequent. However, this is an issue because I am always by myself on the weekends and feel like I can’t invite house guests to stop by and chat because there’s no room to stand around in the piles of clothes. Most recently, the window has become an issue. I was told that my decoration was in the way. I can respect that. However, if my items were in the way, I don’t see why the new stuff placed there isn’t also in the way.
This is old business but I felt the need that it should be addressed. When our fridge broke, I fixed it by myself. I asked for help and didn’t receive any. So, I just removed my items an cleaned out the fridge because it was a watery mess, and the ice cream had melted. I also placed he microwave by the couch with your permission after explaining that I would move it back onto the fridge when it was fixed. However, when I came back from class the microwave was moved back onto the fridge and the fridge wasn’t fixed. Before I had left, you cleaned out your items in the fridge. I felt like your anger was being taken out on me as there was slamming the doors and heavy walking around. Amidst that, I also got accused of leaving the fridge dirty that day.
You may have noticed that I turn off all the lights when I leave the room. I felt really disrespected in regards to my fears when you were playing with your lighter in the room and I asked you to stop and you and your friends laughed. I have a fear of my things burning up in a fire because in the past five years, two of my family’s buildings have caught on fire and I watched one of them burn to the ground.
Finally, the door is also constantly bolted open when there is absolutely no one in the room. I fear for the safety of my personal belongings and feel like I can’t leave anything in our room which is what a room is for, to leave possessions safely behind. It’s not just when no one is in the room but when I have retired for the night and I am sleeping in the bed, I know the door gets bolted open when you leave while I’m asleep. THIS is really uncomfortable for me because I cannot hear people walk into the room.
I feel that my well being, safety, and personal space is being disrespected repeatedly. I also feel that the commitment to share space has been compromised. I feel this way for a handful of different reasons.
Let’s start with guests. I have since lost track of the number of times that I’ve waken up to a stranger in our room. I haven’t even been asked if they could stay here or not. It is just presumed o.k. since I am asleep. And it is NOT okay. I feel that this is disrespectful in a number of ways. First of all I thought I was fair to you by agreeing that we’d ie each other an hours notice for overnight guests since you expressed that you frequently wanted to have guests over. Fair enough, everyone has a right to have guests. But this constantly happens on SCHOOL NIGHTS. The opposite gendered guests staying without permission is also the other issue. I am actually UNCOMFORTABLE with opposite gendered guests staying the night. Especially if I don’t know them. I did not appreciate the joke of Billy getting into my bed while I was asleeping. I have expressed my dislike of that joke but let me say it again to emphasis why I dislike opposite gendered guests overnight.
Lights and TV. During Exams these have bothered me because of my light sensitivity. Honestly, it’s really bothersome even when I don’t have exams but I have already expressed my grievances to you. I actually have NOT been getting decent sleep because of the TV and sink light since we moved in.
Speaking of the TV, we agreed to share the TV. Lately I haven’t wanted to watch anything but when I have, the TV gets taken over or the remote is hidden from me. I understand that you bought the TV but I bought the coffeemaker and agreed to share it, which is accessible to you for your convenience.
Since were on the subject of personal belongings. It feels really hurtful when my stuff is called “stupid shit” and then this “stupid shit” gets asked to be borrowed. I feel that I am being disrespected when things are borrowed and treated in that regards.
But it’s not just that. I constantly feel like I’m being treated like I’m stupid or like a little kid and that I am being used in my kindness. I am constantly being talked down at, and my stuff that gets borrowed is never replenished when it’s been promised to replenish items. Particularly the fabric sheets as I need those to make my clothes functional due to static shock.
The issue of shared space being hogged is pressing. The fridge is completely full of water, Capri sun, gaterade, yogurt, milk, coffee creamers, and whatever edible items are in the freezer. All I ever have in the fridge at any given time is three drinks and three cups of fruit. The sink is also constantly hogged.
Clothes being thrown all around the room is the other issue. We agreed on one pile of clothes of messiness in terms of clothes. I understand that the need to change clothes is frequent. However, this is an issue because I am always by myself on the weekends and feel like I can’t invite house guests to stop by and chat because there’s no room to stand around in the piles of clothes. Most recently, the window has become an issue. I was told that my decoration was in the way. I can respect that. However, if my items were in the way, I don’t see why the new stuff placed there isn’t also in the way.
This is old business but I felt the need that it should be addressed. When our fridge broke, I fixed it by myself. I asked for help and didn’t receive any. So, I just removed my items an cleaned out the fridge because it was a watery mess, and the ice cream had melted. I also placed he microwave by the couch with your permission after explaining that I would move it back onto the fridge when it was fixed. However, when I came back from class the microwave was moved back onto the fridge and the fridge wasn’t fixed. Before I had left, you cleaned out your items in the fridge. I felt like your anger was being taken out on me as there was slamming the doors and heavy walking around. Amidst that, I also got accused of leaving the fridge dirty that day.
You may have noticed that I turn off all the lights when I leave the room. I felt really disrespected in regards to my fears when you were playing with your lighter in the room and I asked you to stop and you and your friends laughed. I have a fear of my things burning up in a fire because in the past five years, two of my family’s buildings have caught on fire and I watched one of them burn to the ground.
Finally, the door is also constantly bolted open when there is absolutely no one in the room. I fear for the safety of my personal belongings and feel like I can’t leave anything in our room which is what a room is for, to leave possessions safely behind. It’s not just when no one is in the room but when I have retired for the night and I am sleeping in the bed, I know the door gets bolted open when you leave while I’m asleep. THIS is really uncomfortable for me because I cannot hear people walk into the room.
